Salvador says: How to handle a break up

Breaking up is hard enough, getting dumped is worse. Nobody wants to be rejected and having a boyfriend or a girlfriend break up with you can be so devastating that you might think you would die for all the pain you are feeling. While you may think that being dumped is the end of the world now, you will be surprised to know that life goes on and that you are strong enough to survive.

Grieve.
A relationship that has ended is a lot like someone you love dying. The need to mourn the loss of something significant is normal; it is also part of the process of healing. So cry, rave, and rant to your heart's content or until your throat become too hoarse for even a croak. Just remember not to take forever on this part. Set a mourning period and start picking up the pieces after that.

Keep your friends close and your best friends closer.
There will always be a time when you want to be alone and wallow in pain and self-pity. However, your friends will be waiting to patiently listen to you whine, reminisce, laugh, and cry. You deserve to be cared for at your most vulnerable so take advantage of the help they are offering and enjoy being the center of attention.

Get rid of the physical and emotional clutter.
To start the process of moving on, you need to get rid of letters, photos, and other items that chronicled your life together as a couple. You do not need to throw them away, just store them with a friend or someplace where you do not have to see them everyday. Seeing these items all the time will only remind you of what you lost and add to your misery.

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Find a distraction.
You will eventually get tired of moping but if you think that it is taking too long for you to recover, then it may be time to find some distractions. Family members and friends are great at offering you comfort, love, and happiness. You can also take up a new hobby, like gardening, bungee jumping, or baking. Do something you never thought you could do before and focus your energy into it.

Pamper yourself.
A breakup will usually give rise to feelings of inadequacy and self-esteem issues. Because of that, you need to find ways to restore your confidence by taking care of yourself. Buy new clothes or electronic gadgets. Go on a trip with your close friends or get a makeover.

Review what happened and learn from it.
When you feel you are strong enough to examine what caused the failure of the relationship without breaking down, do so but with the intent to learn. Be fair to both your ex and yourself. Acknowledge the real reasons why things did not work out. If the reasons are not clear, maybe a friend can tell you his/her insights. Move on as a wiser and a more mature individual.
Eventually, you will start healing. After that, you can decide whether to stay single or to start seeing other people again. Remember all you learned from the breakup and be brave enough to open your heart once more.


Source:  lovetips.com