-Love is like an unquenchable thirst, though it can be temporarily sated with fluids other than water.
-The easiest way to tell if someone loves you is to tell them they have a nice ass. If they file a sexual harrassment suit, it's love.
-No, I'm NOT a lawyer. Why do you ask?
-The best way to show someone you love them is by buying them expensive gifts. The poor are simply unworthy of love.
-Michael Moore is, technically, poor.
-Love is full of strange, confusing contradictions, and at times makes no sense whatsoever, yet it should not be confused with the UN, since love rarely involves oil-related scandals.
-Despite what you may have been taught in school, love is more than just a few cigars and a stained blue dress
-Love means never having to say you're sorry, mostly because when you screw up, you will need to make a MUCH longer speech than that.
-For best results, include bended-knee grovelling and a lot of diamonds.
-I *told* you love wasn't for the poor.
-The French are reputed to be experts in love, mostly because it's something they can surrender to.
-You never know when love will strike, which makes it similar to terrorists. If you see love, shoot it, just to be safe.
-Some people will need Viagra for this.
-Some types of love are actually unhealthy. For example, if your love involves handcuffs, ostrich feathers, or spankings, it's fine.
-Love is a many-splendored thing, much like the diamond necklace you'll be buying when you screw up.
-Again - not for the poor.
-Money can't buy happiness, but it CAN buy love. Although I've found that the healthy kind usually costs a little extra.
-Love was originally invented by Microsoft, thus explaining its chronic instability.
-In a fight between love and Aquaman, love would conquer all, and Aquaman would confess his secret longing for King Neptune.
-Long-lasting love can be achieved by filling out the on-line registration form and only using fully licensed
versions. In the long run, pirated love will only bring misery, despite requiring fewer diamonds initially.
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